Was out with a friend, M, on Wed night. She's the only one who knows about the FET. It's nice to have someone to talk to about it but I don't like to tell too many people because it just makes me feel under pressure, like you have to live up to all their expectations - weird I know.
She was asking if I've been on my health kick this time as I was slightly scarily obsessive the first two times. I consulted a herbalist (western) the first time and had to drink a foul-smelling, bright green, disgusting concoction three-times a day!
Second time I decided acupunture was the way to go. I think that did make a difference as I responded much better to all the drugs the second time but both treatments are so expensive, I just can't justify it this time.
But I am heavier this time and no where near as fit. I think that's why it's taken me so long to decide to go ahead, I kept thinking I should lose weight and get fit first.
But M mentioning it has made me think about it again, I'm probably not giving it my best shot, maybe subconciously I am too scared. Maybe I don't actually want it to work? Arghhh!
Friday, August 3
Thursday, August 2
Worries
Can't stop worrying about this FET.
I mean, first of all there is no guarantee it'll work which will be the worst outcome possible.
But...if it does work then I don't know if it'll all work out okay. My first pregnancy ended at 17 weeks with premature labour, no cause was ever identified. The second pregnancy I was monitored a lot more, just incase, and they discovered my cervix starting to open at 22+6. This was by accident as it was completely shut at 21 weeks and they thought I was okay. I had a big bleed though so they scanned me to see why and discovered this instead!
I had a stitch put in and they said it may last up to six weeks. Four weeks and six days later I went into labour. 32 hours later at 28+1 our gorgeous son was born. By some miracle he is absolutely perfect!
The problem is, the doctor said they can put the stitch in at 14 weeks and it should last till full term, however they cannot guarantee that premature labour is not a separate problem.
I mean what are the chances of having fertility problems on both sides, incompetent cervix and prem labour?? Surely just one problem per couple would be sufficient!
So I have the risks associated with the op to put the stitch in, risk of prem labour and all the associated health risks to the baby. All while coping with a toddler...
Makes my head spin, just seems so scary no matter what way you look at it. The only problem is I don't think I'll be able to live with myself if we don't at least try.
So, eight days to go...
I mean, first of all there is no guarantee it'll work which will be the worst outcome possible.
But...if it does work then I don't know if it'll all work out okay. My first pregnancy ended at 17 weeks with premature labour, no cause was ever identified. The second pregnancy I was monitored a lot more, just incase, and they discovered my cervix starting to open at 22+6. This was by accident as it was completely shut at 21 weeks and they thought I was okay. I had a big bleed though so they scanned me to see why and discovered this instead!
I had a stitch put in and they said it may last up to six weeks. Four weeks and six days later I went into labour. 32 hours later at 28+1 our gorgeous son was born. By some miracle he is absolutely perfect!
The problem is, the doctor said they can put the stitch in at 14 weeks and it should last till full term, however they cannot guarantee that premature labour is not a separate problem.
I mean what are the chances of having fertility problems on both sides, incompetent cervix and prem labour?? Surely just one problem per couple would be sufficient!
So I have the risks associated with the op to put the stitch in, risk of prem labour and all the associated health risks to the baby. All while coping with a toddler...
Makes my head spin, just seems so scary no matter what way you look at it. The only problem is I don't think I'll be able to live with myself if we don't at least try.
So, eight days to go...
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)