Was out with a friend, M, on Wed night. She's the only one who knows about the FET. It's nice to have someone to talk to about it but I don't like to tell too many people because it just makes me feel under pressure, like you have to live up to all their expectations - weird I know.
She was asking if I've been on my health kick this time as I was slightly scarily obsessive the first two times. I consulted a herbalist (western) the first time and had to drink a foul-smelling, bright green, disgusting concoction three-times a day!
Second time I decided acupunture was the way to go. I think that did make a difference as I responded much better to all the drugs the second time but both treatments are so expensive, I just can't justify it this time.
But I am heavier this time and no where near as fit. I think that's why it's taken me so long to decide to go ahead, I kept thinking I should lose weight and get fit first.
But M mentioning it has made me think about it again, I'm probably not giving it my best shot, maybe subconciously I am too scared. Maybe I don't actually want it to work? Arghhh!
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